Hope for Depression l Depression Support

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough

Depression affects every part of our lives and that includes relationships. When people are depressed, it affects how they communicate and express themselves. For various reasons, they tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. Isolation is very unhealthy for a person going through depression. Depressed people need diversion and company. Talking to others about what they are going through helps them to see things more objectively. In fact, social support aids in recovery of depression, and it is a protective factor against the onset of future occurrences of depression. A support system might include—family, friends, clubs, groups, church, and counseling. Positive, optimistic influences can be strong supports and good models of hope and joy. Influences that are negative and toxic can intensify depression and should be avoided.

“When we share ourselves with others, we give them the most priceless possessions we have: life and time…When you give someone your precious time, sharing yourself in listening, empathizing, praying, and working, that time can never be recovered. Once time is gone, it’s gone…but it’s never lost. It becomes an investment.” ~Warren Weirsbe

Life is all about relationships. They require an investment of life and time. Depressed people might not invest in their relationships as much as they would want and their relationships can suffer as a result. As they begin to encourage, help, support, understand, and invest in others, it helps them to refocus and build strong, positive and healthy relationships.

Giving to others of our time, resources, and attention helps us to feel connected to something greater than ourselves. People who volunteer often report feeling a greater sense of purpose and community by giving of themselves.

KEY POINTS:

• Surround yourself with positive influences

• Develop a strong support system

• Invest time and self in building relationships

• Connect with others through giving

REFLECTION:

• Think about the influences in your life. How are they supportive or

not supportive?

• Think about your relationships. How much of yourself do you invest

in them?

• Describe ways you connect with others through giving or

volunteering your time.

To read an article I wrote about how relationships need daily care and attention, click here.

Disclaimer: This course is intended for personal growth and development. It is not intended to take the place of professional treatment. Participants are advised to consult their own health care professional regarding the treatment of medical and mental health problems. Neither the instructor, NewDayCounseling.org, and BeHappy4Life.com take any responsibility for any possible consequences from any treatment, action or application of information applied in this course. See entire

Do you have a hard time saying “no”?

Do you ever feel taken advantage of by others?

Do your relationships have clear rules and boundaries?

Do you feel guilty when you set limits?

What do you do when you feel your boundaries are violated?

All relationships need appropriate boundaries. Boundaries determine how you will and will not behave in a given situation. They are basically rules and limits you set in your relationships. For example, physical boundaries help you establish who can touch you and under what circumstances. Boundaries can also help you to establish your right to have and express your own thoughts, feelings and opinions.

It is up to each individual to set limits and that means having and enforcing rules in relationships. Clear, strong boundaries are empowering. On the other hand, when boundaries are violated, they leave you feeling victimized and helpless.

Establishing healthy boundaries begins with awareness of what the rules and boundaries are in your relationships and considering—

What relationship rules and limits you want to establish

Whether or not you enforce them

Why you allow them to be violated

How they can be made more clear or changed if necessary

“Forgiveness is setting the captive free and finding that the captive was you.”

Relationships can cause great joy as well as terrible pain. Hurtful words, broken promises, disrespect, uncaring and abusive behavior can all leave a person deeply wounded. If the underlying hurt or offense is not processed and resolved, it leads to unforgiveness. Prolonged unforgiveness leads to bitterness and depression. When this occurs, letting go of resentment becomes necessary in the healing process.

Resolution with the person who caused the pain is not always possible. So resolution has to occur in the heart of the person that was hurt. Forgiveness does not justify the wrong actions of another or make them right. It does not excuse the wrong done. Forgiveness releases the person who was hurt from the chains of pain and anger that keep them bound. Forgiveness begins with a willingness to forgive. You might not feel you are able to forgive, but being willing is the first step. Feelings eventually catch up to decisions. Sometimes forgiveness is accomplished in layers and it may be necessary to forgive each time a memory or feeling emerges. Working through each layer helps to bring you closer to experiencing the freedom that forgiveness brings whether it is you that you need to forgive or someone that has hurt you.

REFLECTION:

• Is there someone I hold feelings of unforgiveness toward?

• Do I blame someone for the way I feel?

• Am I still hurting because I am angry and bitter toward someone?

• Can I recall a time when I was forgiven for causing pain in someone’s

life?

Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go--and then do it." ~Ann Landers

Letting go of the past can be difficult to do when there are unresolved issues that need to be worked through. This can keep a person from moving forward and it can hinder their recovery from depression. Processing pain and hurt and allowing themselves to feel anger and grief can help them to release bottled up feelings and cope with them in a healthy way. In situations where there has been significant loss, trauma or abuse, counseling might be especially helpful.

What it comes down to is this: In order to let go of the past, you have to stop blaming the past and take responsibility for your own recovery. That is when healing begins. You can’t change the past, but you can do something about today and the rest of your life.

Depressed people tend to focus on the past or the future rather than live for today. Today is all anyone has, and today is the only place happiness, wholeness, and contentment can exist. To live one day at a time is to fully experience life. One day, one hour, one moment at a time…. So much is lost right here and now when the focus is on the past or the future. By cutting down of negative rumination and introspection, people suffering from depression can refocus.

Depressed people can learn to live for today and plan for tomorrow. Planning for tomorrow requires setting goals for the future. When depressed people do not set any goals, they have nothing drawing them forward. Setting goals gives them a sense of purpose. And letting go of the past helps them to live with new hope and purpose for their lives.